Triumphs and Tests
(Originally posted March 19, 2007)
I was reminded tonight of where we've been. I think that's such a blessing from God to be able to revisit your times of testing and times of pain and recognize the fresh work He's done in our lives.
Through studying about Abraham and Sarah this week God took me on a journey back to the loss of our first child. This was through Genesis 21 when Sarah instructed Abraham to send off her maidservant and the child that Abraham fathered with her, Ishmael. Abraham loved this child but God told him to do as Sarah said because He was in control. (my paraphrase) Eventually, Hagar (the maidservant) and Ishmael ran out of water and Hagar placed him under a bush and went away a short distance so she didn't have to watch him die. The Lord heard her sobbing and came to her. Very likely she was crying out a prayer that her deep grief wouldn't allow her mouth to echo but the incredible thing about that is that God knew exactly what she was saying. So many times as I sobbed for the child I would never hold I clung to Romans 8:26 which promises that even when we don't know what to pray for the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Hagar's pain was so intense that words could not express what she felt. My pain was so intense that words would not form. I didn't know what to pray at times or what to say. All I knew to do was cry out to God and have confidence that He heard me through the sobs. My crying made perfect sense to Him and in those moments when my voice wasn't able to fumble my thoughts, I revealed my heart. He always sees my heart but it's not always easily revealed on our part, is it? I think it's good to revisit trials and hard times because they remind us of God's matchless grace and comfort. I am in awe of how he loves and restores me to a point where I can walk back through my hurt and feel joy...joy for a child that walks with Him, and talks with Him and worships at His feet. Our baby has seen the face of Jesus. Praise Him!
One of my favorite bible study writers, Beth Moore says when talking about trials and tests that we are never tested accidently. There is always an intended outcome and that God already knows if we will pass the test. He may want us to see for ourselves what we are made of. We aren't as weak as we think we are if we have Christ living in us because through Him all things are possible. Isn't that great news?? Sometimes, we just don't know what we have in us! She also reminds me that hard tests always have huge effects. God is never out to hurt us. When God is up to something hard, He's up to something BIG.
For Hagar and her son, God provided a well of water in the desert. Sometimes we go to the well to get water and sometimes He brings the well to us. That day, God brought the well of living water to Hagar and to this day He continues to bring the well of living water to me. When we lost our precious child, it was living water that sustained me. When we rejoice, it's living water that sustains me. When I think about my baby spending eternity in heaven and never feeling hurt or pain I can't help but be thrilled to my core. Oh how precious a Savior!
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new merices I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
I was reminded tonight of where we've been. I think that's such a blessing from God to be able to revisit your times of testing and times of pain and recognize the fresh work He's done in our lives.
Through studying about Abraham and Sarah this week God took me on a journey back to the loss of our first child. This was through Genesis 21 when Sarah instructed Abraham to send off her maidservant and the child that Abraham fathered with her, Ishmael. Abraham loved this child but God told him to do as Sarah said because He was in control. (my paraphrase) Eventually, Hagar (the maidservant) and Ishmael ran out of water and Hagar placed him under a bush and went away a short distance so she didn't have to watch him die. The Lord heard her sobbing and came to her. Very likely she was crying out a prayer that her deep grief wouldn't allow her mouth to echo but the incredible thing about that is that God knew exactly what she was saying. So many times as I sobbed for the child I would never hold I clung to Romans 8:26 which promises that even when we don't know what to pray for the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Hagar's pain was so intense that words could not express what she felt. My pain was so intense that words would not form. I didn't know what to pray at times or what to say. All I knew to do was cry out to God and have confidence that He heard me through the sobs. My crying made perfect sense to Him and in those moments when my voice wasn't able to fumble my thoughts, I revealed my heart. He always sees my heart but it's not always easily revealed on our part, is it? I think it's good to revisit trials and hard times because they remind us of God's matchless grace and comfort. I am in awe of how he loves and restores me to a point where I can walk back through my hurt and feel joy...joy for a child that walks with Him, and talks with Him and worships at His feet. Our baby has seen the face of Jesus. Praise Him!
One of my favorite bible study writers, Beth Moore says when talking about trials and tests that we are never tested accidently. There is always an intended outcome and that God already knows if we will pass the test. He may want us to see for ourselves what we are made of. We aren't as weak as we think we are if we have Christ living in us because through Him all things are possible. Isn't that great news?? Sometimes, we just don't know what we have in us! She also reminds me that hard tests always have huge effects. God is never out to hurt us. When God is up to something hard, He's up to something BIG.
For Hagar and her son, God provided a well of water in the desert. Sometimes we go to the well to get water and sometimes He brings the well to us. That day, God brought the well of living water to Hagar and to this day He continues to bring the well of living water to me. When we lost our precious child, it was living water that sustained me. When we rejoice, it's living water that sustains me. When I think about my baby spending eternity in heaven and never feeling hurt or pain I can't help but be thrilled to my core. Oh how precious a Savior!
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new merices I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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