When You Realize You've Changed
This time last year, I was not winning any mother of the year awards for sure. I think it's safe to say that I had simply "lost" myself in motherhood. The joy of raising two little ones was replaced by the drowning feeling of just not having anything left-not being enough. My patience resevoir had been exhausted. Their usual childhood antics were too much for me. I was explosive on a small scale, over reactive, quick to condemn and far, far from the mother I wanted to be. And sadly, I camped out there for around three months-much too long. When I spoke to my closest friends about my children, only negative comments came from my mouth. I could hear myself and hear the ugly and was so, so saddened by it. But I was overwhelmed and stretched and they were a safe place for me. I remember asking a very close friend who wasn't a mommy if her other close friend ever griped about her children the way I did. Her honest answer stung-"no, not really." I think it was