PAUSE

You've heard the saying, "I've got a good heart, but this mouth..."  

That resonates with me.  

Y'all, I swear the very depths of my heart desire to honor God with my words, actions and thoughts, but so often this mouth of mine gets in the way.  And out of that mouth comes the overflow of this heart-the one that yearns for complete surrender to Jesus, and yet so often wanders off on it's own selfish path. 

Help me, Jesus.  Y'all just don't even know how often I have to pray, "Bind my wandering  heart to thee..."

I've shared with you that my word right now is change.  I've also shared with you how much I don't like change.  So, it's ironic and totally God's way, that He'd speak this word over me. Even crazier, that He'd prompt my heart to pray for change.  I don't like change!  Change is hard and scary and difficult and...new.  Remember the spiritual things I said about change in my last post when I was feeling so optimistic about this season?  If not, you can find them here!  I have to remind myself of that often.  Especially when I've been praying for God to show me areas of my own heart and life that demand change in order to become more of the woman He created me to be.  You see, I don't simply want to grow, evolve and transform into something else...I want to grow, evolve and transform into completely who God created me to be.  There's a difference.  I don't just desire personal growth, I desire to personally grow to be more and more like Jesus.  

Perhaps the most profound thing of all, is that when Jesus spoke the word change over me, He spoke it with authority and Victory (even though that word is so last year!). ;)  Through the prophet Isaiah, He declared, "so My word that comes from my mouth will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do." (55:11) 
If I claim to believe God's word, then I must also choose to submit to the truth of His word, even when it's hard.  

And let me tell you, it's hard...it's hard when "change" means that God begins to bring to mind, words that have left my mouth in moments of exasperation, frustration, exhaustion, stress, and misunderstanding. It's even harder when they were spoken to people you love, and would never want to hurt. Maybe it's not always necessarily the words, but the tone with which they have been spoken,(which is often the case for me) or the underlying motivation behind them. Sometimes I react quickly and not at all intentionally, and what comes out isn't at all what I meant or expected. We've all been there, and it doesn't have to be often.  A time or two is enough-enough to leave us deeply aware of how easily it is to sin in our defenses.  How determined the enemy is to raise up our crucified self and how keenly he works with our weaknesses.  It all boils down to that spiritual battle going on for our heart.  The one that has already been won. 

And so while this isn't necessarily a constant for me, I do believe a time for change has come for me in how to respond in moments of frustration and the like.  It's time for me to "PAUSE."  God has given me this acronym to begin the process of measuring my responses in these moments up against the purity of His inhabitance in my heart, and I want to share it with you. 
 
P-Pray
A-Ask God to guide my thoughts and words
U-Understand the impact.  Is it beneficial?
S- Submit to Him with my response
E-Expect His Victory

Do all of my words warrant this type of correction?  No.  But is this an area I feel led to allow God to continue to transform me into His likeness?  Yes.  And so, here I am.  I am taking a moment to learn to PAUSE before I react. I am excited to see how being intentional about setting aside the agenda of my own wretched heart and allowing God to recondition it to align fully with His righteousness is going to accomplish all that He pleases, and prosper in what He sends me to do.  



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