The Lesson
(Originally posted August 30, 2012)
I decided that today would be a good day to hit up McDonalds for dinner. Cliff was going to be late getting home and well, we had no food in the house. I certainly didn't have it in me to trudge into the grocery store with one on my hip and one begging incessantly for cosmic brownies and iced sugar cookies, just to find some quick and unhealthy meal to shove in their mouths. Why do all that when you can find quick and unhealthy at one of the 50 gazillion McDonalds we now have in our town? Plus, we made it to payday tomorrow without running out of money. That definitely warrants a celebration at McDonalds if you ask me. One of our newly remodeled McDonalds has an awesome playplace that accomodates both of my boys well. It accomodates me well too, as I can sit and watch them play and feel like they are both safe without having to be right under Will the entire time trying to avoid a busted lip, broken arm, or the likes. That's the one we were heading to, but not before our stop at CVS to get a refill on Walker's allergy meds. We ran into one of my besties there and I told her that Walker was begging to go to the McD's next door because they had Power Ranger prizes in the Happy Meals. Knowing his strong dislike and irrational fear of the playplace at that particular McDonalds she urged me not to give in. This is funny considering she gave in to her son recently and allowed him to go to Walmart with her at midnight! :) I assured her I wouldn't, and I am sure as she drove off she knew full well, I would be giving in. You see, neither of us could convince little Mr. Know It All that the other McDonalds would, in fact, have Power Ranger toys. He saw the sign, and had his mind made up. He just wouldn't trust us. We would go there, to the one he could see, and we would go there now.
I think Little Mr. Know It All has a radar that lets him know when Mommy is close to "wear me down" mode and he knows the combination of buttons to push to ensure that Mommy does in fact, wear down. After a ten minute pharmacy wait and the constant begging of a soon-to-be five year old who knows WAY more than I do about McDonalds and their Happy Meal toy habits, I relented. Fine, we'll go to this one. I rationalized my pathetic parenting on the fact that maybe he'd outgrown his fear of the treehouse, maybe he would love it, maybe Will would show him how to face the tree house like a real man. Maybe I could get home without my gas light coming on, if I just went to the one right there instead of driving across town. Maybe, just maybe. Even still, I knew the choice I was making wasn't the best one for him. Or Will. Or me. Or my future ability to reign as boss.
We ordered our food and went into the playplace to take our seats and start our meal. I got the boys set up with their shared Mighty Kids meal and texted my friend to let her know of my epic mommy fail, and was thinking maybe this wasn't such a bad choice-we have the entire place to ourselves, afterall. I might even be able to get away with creeping on facebook or skimming Pinterest while they play without feeling like one of those parents who neglects their children in public places in favor of social networking. Phew. Ok, epic fail redeemed by not so shabby circumstances. Heck, they'd even cleaned the play area recently. It shined. Then came playtime.
Walker hopped down from the table and started to shimmy up the treehouse, only to come bustling down quickly scared to death. He'd heard a ghost. There was a ghost in there, no doubt. That's it kid, no more Scooby Doo. After several minutes of trying to convince him to trust me that there was no ghost I gave up. After all, he had already told me he didn't trust me to know what I was talking about with the other McDonalds having Power Ranger toys. Why would I expect him to trust me here? I only care and provide for his every need every waking hour of my life. My life only revolves around him 24/7 to the point were I often wonder if I truly exist outside of being his mom. So yeah, no reason to trust me at all. I get it. Will decided it was his turn to shimmy up the tree and I breathed a sign of relief. Ah, Will would show him how it's done and I would get a few minutes to sit on my bottom and breathe slowly. Then down comes Will, scared to death, clearly by the ghost Walker proclaims. I'll admit at that point I did wonder if there was some creepy man hiding up inside the tree waiting to prey on my children, so I gave in to Walker's requests to go up the tree house with him. We went up once and we came down once and that was it. No ghost. No evil man waiting to prey. Just a tree house. A tree house neither of them cared to go up again. They were done. Had enough. Time to go.
As I climbed the tree house lugging one little love in front of me and feeling the breath of another one close behind me, I started to think. Is this not just like me? How often does God ask me to just trust Him? There are the best blessings, though maybe not in the form of Power Ranger toys, on the paths He decides to take me. But sometimes all I can see is what I want right then, and I choose not to trust but to act on what I can see. Though I may find blessings there too, I also face obstacles of fear, doubt, insecurity and the blessings aren't best. They are mediocre and I am left feeling incomplete and unsatisfied. Something else may be left undone in the life of another too because I chose to beg for what I thought I wanted. Today I hope we both learned a lesson, but I know at least one of us did.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6
I decided that today would be a good day to hit up McDonalds for dinner. Cliff was going to be late getting home and well, we had no food in the house. I certainly didn't have it in me to trudge into the grocery store with one on my hip and one begging incessantly for cosmic brownies and iced sugar cookies, just to find some quick and unhealthy meal to shove in their mouths. Why do all that when you can find quick and unhealthy at one of the 50 gazillion McDonalds we now have in our town? Plus, we made it to payday tomorrow without running out of money. That definitely warrants a celebration at McDonalds if you ask me. One of our newly remodeled McDonalds has an awesome playplace that accomodates both of my boys well. It accomodates me well too, as I can sit and watch them play and feel like they are both safe without having to be right under Will the entire time trying to avoid a busted lip, broken arm, or the likes. That's the one we were heading to, but not before our stop at CVS to get a refill on Walker's allergy meds. We ran into one of my besties there and I told her that Walker was begging to go to the McD's next door because they had Power Ranger prizes in the Happy Meals. Knowing his strong dislike and irrational fear of the playplace at that particular McDonalds she urged me not to give in. This is funny considering she gave in to her son recently and allowed him to go to Walmart with her at midnight! :) I assured her I wouldn't, and I am sure as she drove off she knew full well, I would be giving in. You see, neither of us could convince little Mr. Know It All that the other McDonalds would, in fact, have Power Ranger toys. He saw the sign, and had his mind made up. He just wouldn't trust us. We would go there, to the one he could see, and we would go there now.
I think Little Mr. Know It All has a radar that lets him know when Mommy is close to "wear me down" mode and he knows the combination of buttons to push to ensure that Mommy does in fact, wear down. After a ten minute pharmacy wait and the constant begging of a soon-to-be five year old who knows WAY more than I do about McDonalds and their Happy Meal toy habits, I relented. Fine, we'll go to this one. I rationalized my pathetic parenting on the fact that maybe he'd outgrown his fear of the treehouse, maybe he would love it, maybe Will would show him how to face the tree house like a real man. Maybe I could get home without my gas light coming on, if I just went to the one right there instead of driving across town. Maybe, just maybe. Even still, I knew the choice I was making wasn't the best one for him. Or Will. Or me. Or my future ability to reign as boss.
We ordered our food and went into the playplace to take our seats and start our meal. I got the boys set up with their shared Mighty Kids meal and texted my friend to let her know of my epic mommy fail, and was thinking maybe this wasn't such a bad choice-we have the entire place to ourselves, afterall. I might even be able to get away with creeping on facebook or skimming Pinterest while they play without feeling like one of those parents who neglects their children in public places in favor of social networking. Phew. Ok, epic fail redeemed by not so shabby circumstances. Heck, they'd even cleaned the play area recently. It shined. Then came playtime.
Walker hopped down from the table and started to shimmy up the treehouse, only to come bustling down quickly scared to death. He'd heard a ghost. There was a ghost in there, no doubt. That's it kid, no more Scooby Doo. After several minutes of trying to convince him to trust me that there was no ghost I gave up. After all, he had already told me he didn't trust me to know what I was talking about with the other McDonalds having Power Ranger toys. Why would I expect him to trust me here? I only care and provide for his every need every waking hour of my life. My life only revolves around him 24/7 to the point were I often wonder if I truly exist outside of being his mom. So yeah, no reason to trust me at all. I get it. Will decided it was his turn to shimmy up the tree and I breathed a sign of relief. Ah, Will would show him how it's done and I would get a few minutes to sit on my bottom and breathe slowly. Then down comes Will, scared to death, clearly by the ghost Walker proclaims. I'll admit at that point I did wonder if there was some creepy man hiding up inside the tree waiting to prey on my children, so I gave in to Walker's requests to go up the tree house with him. We went up once and we came down once and that was it. No ghost. No evil man waiting to prey. Just a tree house. A tree house neither of them cared to go up again. They were done. Had enough. Time to go.
As I climbed the tree house lugging one little love in front of me and feeling the breath of another one close behind me, I started to think. Is this not just like me? How often does God ask me to just trust Him? There are the best blessings, though maybe not in the form of Power Ranger toys, on the paths He decides to take me. But sometimes all I can see is what I want right then, and I choose not to trust but to act on what I can see. Though I may find blessings there too, I also face obstacles of fear, doubt, insecurity and the blessings aren't best. They are mediocre and I am left feeling incomplete and unsatisfied. Something else may be left undone in the life of another too because I chose to beg for what I thought I wanted. Today I hope we both learned a lesson, but I know at least one of us did.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6
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