Splash the Puddles

We all want (and need) that one person who can sympathize with us and whatever we may be going through. I know I find so much comfort in knowing that I am not the only one who's been "there."   When I'm struggling in my parenting, I find so much resolve in conversing with other moms of boys. When I've had a difficult day with my students, I lean on one of my teacher friends. When my weary emotional self feels insecure, I turn to special friends who know me inside and out and also struggle with their own insecurities to remind me where my security lies. And that I'm not alone in my struggle. When Walker is covered head to toe in hives and I've had it up to "here" with unidentified triggers, it's helpful to talk to someone else who's dealt with the frustration.  When a lizard jumps off the table  directly at you while you are peacefully sunbathing at the beach, causing you to hop up and run faster than you ever have before, all the while sc...

Our family has very recently been the victim of theft. Again. This time it's a little different than when our van was stolen from our driveway. This time, our privacy was invaded on a much more personal level. This time, the hands of thieves touched clothes hanging in my closet, socks and underwear tucked away in our drawers. Their hands touched a precious gift someone gave us that has photos of my children on it, in order to take something plugged in behind it.  Their fingerprints are all over our home and could very easily be on our hearts if we allowed it.  Thankfully none of us were home, and we are all safe. All glory to God for that most important detail.  When something like this happens to you, especially twice, I think it could be easy to harbor bitterness and live in fear. And if I am being honest, both times this has occurred, those two things were my initial reaction.   However, bitterness and fear bring darkness and anger and those two things have no pla...

You know, there are moments right after I push publish on a post when my whole body cringes and I wonder why in the world I just bared my soul to the world. Why in sam's name did I feel the need to share all that?  Why?  What if it's misunderstood? What if it gets on someone's nerves? What if people are sick of hearing about mud puddles? Or most recently last night, WHAT if someone thinks my marriage is in trouble, when it isn't, because I shared a "season" we are in where it seems more difficult than before to find one on one time together?!?  What IF??? There are those moments when no immediate feedback comes my way, and I ponder why in the world I subjected myself to the wonderment of whether or not readers think I'm crazy. Insecure. Delusional. Needy. Wordy. Irrational. (In truth, at times, I can be all of those things...) -side note: I don't do this for feedback. That's my insecure side shining through.  Then it happens.  Someone comes to me p...

You ever feel like your life isn't how it's supposed to be?   Just take that in for a minute.  Right now, I feel that way. I'm laying in the bed beside my boys. Together, Cliff and I have worked in this house a good portion of the day.  It's a wreck. And honestly, there isn't much to show for all our hard work today.  Every time we turned around, one of them was pulling out something we had just cleaned up, or creating a new mess for us. I'm not talking a few toys strewed on the floor. That, I can handle. I'm talking mess. The kind I am beginning to believe only my boys can create.  The kind that seems to encompass me. At times it seemed they were doing it on purpose. Maybe they were. But I'm sure they weren't. They were just being kids. And they both helped a good bit today also.  We've had a good day. Don't get me wrong. We've all been together. iPhones have been put aside. We've laughed and had fun. It's just... I'm tired. ...

No one (in their right mind, anyway) really enjoys revisiting past hurts. That makes sense. The rainbow of healing that shines after the pain of a storm in your life leaves you ready to move forward, with a smile on your face and a broken heart mended. That's how it should be. Or so I thought. And still do think. Though recently I have been challenged to revisit a hard place. A time of heartbreak, confusion, anger and darkness for me...a very painful place I resided in the midst of a very exciting and joyful time in my life. I haven't shared on my blog about this storm. In fact, with the exception of my husband and the very few people I let in during this time, no one really knows the extent of what I experienced. Though I am far removed from it , the memories of the feelings I experienced during this time of my life still hurt. Deeply. And most of the time, I simply cannot let my memory go back there. I can't allow my thoughts to wander to some of the things I thought ...

I love when God continues to bring a portion of scripture to my attention frequently over a span of time. There are a few scriptures that He just keeps showing me through my time with Him in His Word, through conversations with friends and family, through prayer and at church lately. I've shared before, that I have a burden to help. I want to be a helpful person, and be remembered as someone who went above and beyond to step up to the call to serve. So many times, I feel I fail at that. The desire is there, but the ability to follow through isn't always. There are so many people in my life who help me so much on a daily basis. I want to be that person. I want to help. Instead I often find myself unable to help, unable to serve, because I am tied down to my two young children who very much need me for almost everything. A few days ago, I decided to meet a few people at my church and stuff baggies for a local race where some members of our church would be handing out snack...

It's been one of those days. Shoot, it's been one of those weeks. The kind that makes you long for your blissfully quiet and peaceful days of marriage before you had kids... If you are a mom, you know the kind I am talking about. Unless of course, you are one of those moms who pretends you never have days...or weeks like that. In that case, shame on you :) for giving future mothers everywhere the idea that everyday is a picnic and that motherhood is all smiles and sunshine. It's not. And by the way, I am thankful none of my close friends are those kinds of moms. It's a special gift God gave me, having a couple of close girlfriends who also have days and weeks like I have and are willing to be open and honest with me about it, how they feel and that the harder days are probably still yet to come from me. Who also know that no matter what is felt and expressed during frustration, that we love our kids more than anything ever in all the world. Being a mother is by far...