Remember when...

My newly preggo sister in law texted me the other night and said she'd walked through the baby section of a store, and in short was freaking out at how expensive everything was and how broke they were going to be. (I'm her freak out "go to"...you know she's in bad shape! Lol) 

I responded with the typical "God will provide, He always does" response that as Christians we give and receive so often, along with some other personal details she knew about our life, but I felt would help to be reminded of at the moment. If nothing else, to prove a point that she already knows. God. Will. Provide. 

But, honestly I so truly meant it. 

I had a rare moment alone after this conversation, and I took some time to reflect on how true this has been in mine and Cliff's life together. 

I can remember a time when things were quite hard for us financially. So difficult that I had no idea how certain things would be covered and there was nothing left for anything extra. I had gone over half of my 14 week maternity leave unpaid and because I had chosen to spread the time I spent unpaid out over a few months worth of paychecks (a decision I felt was smart at the time), it hit us longer and harder than I would have expected. This was preceded by my brand new van being stolen from our driveway, and though insurance covered the costs of repairs, there were other losses we paid out of pocket like deductibles and other things and  a $1,000 deductible we had to pay when we had Will.  Then during a portion of my unpaid time off a tree fell on our house and newly repaired van, and W2 went into the NIC-U all on the same night. (His visit was unrelated to the tree fall, thankfully.). We spent a week in the NIC-U and let me tell you-that's not cheap. At all. There was more and it seemed it was one thing after another at that point in time.  Now we had medical, auto, and home deductibles, too. 

I can remember at that time, being so suddenly burdened to help others but never having the resources to do so. It hurt my heart. Our difficult financial time lasted well into Will's first year, and I don't know for sure at what point things started looking up for us, but they did. Though I don't remember exactly when, I do know exactly why. 

There wasn't a financial decision or obstacle that we didn't pray about. Though there were moments of concern for things not working out on paper, there wasn't a moment when in our hearts we doubted that God would take care of our family. We just knew He would. There were months then, that regrettably we chose not to trust God with our tithe and rather kept it to cover our bills. There should have been extra money in our account then, but ironically there wasn't. That money spent faster and it didn't last. During the months when we chose to trust God with our tithe and were obedient in giving as we always had before, we had what we needed and sometimes more. Blessing after blessing would unfold in our lives, when on paper there should have been no money. 

I can look back now and notice small things that happened during that time. Things I was maybe even embarrassed about or felt guilty for at the time, but see now how they were so perfectly blessings from God given through people who He sent to love us. 

Just a few come to mind now-one of my dearest friends was keeping my boys for us during this time. She and her husband knew all about our struggles with finances at the time, and we drew encouragement from their own stories of having been through harder times and God bringing them through it. There was time after time when she willingly agreed (and sometimes even offered) to hold my checks until a better time for us. There were also times when she refused to take my money, and though it was a difficult gesture for me to accept, she then begged me not to rob her of her blessing. Wow. "Not to rob her of her blessing..."  What a heart for The Lord and for giving she has...not to mention what a friend who loves! 

Another time when payday was two days away and we were out of diapers and when I say we couldn't afford diapers, we couldn't afford diapers. The same friend, having had a baby shower of her own shortly before delivered an entire box to my door, expecting nothing in return. Simply given with words reassuring me that she'd been there before, she understood. God was redeeming her story by allowing her to bless me in so many ways! 

I can remember Walker wanting to have his birthday party at a particular venue and us reserving it for his party and setting the money aside, only to have a household emergency come up and our money spent elsewhere-but a grandparent, in all their love, stepping up and covering the cost so that his heart didn't break, and her baby girl's heart didn't break in turn. 

Vacations provided at very little cost to us, meals, supplies, it all came at just the right time. Our parents recognizing our struggle and making their own sacrifices to help us through a place we never dreamed we'd be. 

We would pray and ask God time and again to show us how to make this wok, and everytime, He just made it work. Sometimes without even showing us His ways-some still a mystery to us. I can remember checks coming in the mail at just the right time, money being returned to us in amounts that we had given in obedience to His word and in additional amounts as well. 

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness of his provision and care for us in so many ways, and though things are so much better now and we find ourselves in a "comfortable" place and are finally able to build up savings, pay down some debt and afford to "splurge" on a 10th anniversary cruise among other things, I don't ever want to lose sight of how things were. We didn't get back here over night. We got back here by trusting God, seeking Him with our expenses, and I strongly believe (though some will argue with me) because of our commitment to give our tithe to Him even when "we didn't have it..."  We just recognized that what we had been given wasn't ours to begin with. 

I think it's in those moments of crisis a family is defined. Money is one of those things that can drive a couple apart. For us, the hard times...money related or not...always seem to bring us closer. Closer to each other, more appreciative for what we have and most importantly closer to The Lord. 

How can I not be thankful for those times? When you see the hand of God at work in so many ways (and believe me, only a very few are mentioned here), you can't help but know how very real He is and how he is so attentive to the needs in our lives and desires of our hearts. 

I also believe the hard times have given us a stronger desire to help others in need, a desire I maybe didn't have before. We are called to love one another, not just in words, but through our actions as well. 

If you find yourself in the middle of a hard place, financial or not. Please know that God is here with you. He is here for you. He will always provide exactly what you need. The very best decision you can make is to trust Him with every aspect of your life-especially your money. 

-Philippians 4:19 NLT