Worry Wart

If you'd been in my kitchen around 8:15 last night, you'd have overheard this conversation: 

Me: "What if he's getting sick again and he doesn't get to enjoy his party?" 

Him: "Are you all worried about THAT now? He just has a cough." (implying previous trends of worry from me)

Me: "I'm his mom. It's my job to worry. SOMEBODY has to worry about it." (Implying previous trends of NO worry from him...) 

Him:  "No. Somebody doesn't. You don't HAVE to worry about anything."

Me: (grumbles under breath...)

Him: "Seriously, we've never once has a situation in our lives when your worrying and stressing out actually wound up being warranted. We've never experienced ANYthing that didn't end up okay..."

I had no rebuttal. He's right. 

I'm a worry wart by nature. I worry about everything. I can turn a mole hill into a mountain faster than I can snap my fingers. It's just my human inclination. 

But I meditated on this wise man's words last night, and reflected back on times in my life when worry has overtaken my mind. Sometimes my worries are over serious issues-a health concern for one of my babies, a financial hardship, or the well being of someone I love.  Other times, they can be downright ridiculous: an obsession with how others perceive me, my family, or my husband based on any given isolated situation. 

In the book of John in the Bible, Jesus warns us that our enemy (Satan) is a thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy. 

One of the most effective ways he attempts to accomplish this in me is through my thoughts. He knows just the words (or lack thereof) that others speak to me or just the very incident to get those wheels of destructive thoughts turning in my head. 

I can have myself dying of a rare undiscovered disease or create an imaginary situation blown completely out of proportion in 2.5 seconds. Sometimes faster 

There are plenty of reasons to worry. Plenty of opportunities to overreact or obsess. But I've found that the act of worrying is so destructive in my own life. 

These are just a few of the ways worry can negatively affect me and those around me:

*consuming thoughts that distract me from tasks that need my attention

*ridiculous assumptions in my own head of how others must view me

*sleepless nights

*snappiness towards my kids when my thoughts are consumed with worry

*if I'm on a roll with a worry or concern, my husband won't stand a chance from the minute he calls on his way home with his peppy "hey babe" just wanting to soak in a few quality minutes with his bride 

*self-defeating thoughts that are typically unwarranted

*robbery of peace

*theft of joy

*over compensation of trying to prove myself to others (we will save this issue for a post all it's own...)

*comparison to other moms, wives, sisters, teachers, friends

That's the short list. 

God knew as He was knitting me together in my mother's womb that this battle with my thought process would be my lifelong struggle. Generic worry in general, but in particular, so often a worry of what others think. So He sent his Son to gracefully cover that struggle and provide an avenue of freedom for me to walk in when I eat that fruit. I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful that I'm far from perfect, because it keeps me close to Him.  

In His Word, He tells us that "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." 

And so, to quote His Word, "I will say of my Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." 

I know that I can rest in his shadow and that He will cover me (and my worries) with the feathers of his wings, protecting me from my own self destructing behaviors. 

When I don't know where I stand with others, when my thoughts and feelings aren't focused on truth, when that major health concern or emotional distress arises, when I'm distracted and lose sight of peace, I'm so thankful that I have a God that cares for all my worries, and more than that, a God who already has them all worked out. A God who is patient with me. 

I know that a life without worry is attainable when my heart and mind are focused on His truths and when I dare to trust Him completely. I'm taking that challenge, to trust without reservation and to truly listen to what He says about me and who I am in Him. 

I choose to walk in peace and put my hope in truth, whether it's a difference of opinion with a family member or a life altering health concern with a loved one or myself.  

I choose peace. (Even if I have to choose it over and over and over, day by day.). I choose peace. I choose peace because I've experienced it so many times and I know it's real. When I choose to rely on God instead of my own fragile self, I am filled with a peace that cannot be explained unless experienced. 

"I tell you these things, so that in Me, you may have peace and confidence." John 16:33

I'll leave you with two of my favorites...

"Cast all your worries on Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 4:8 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

Hallelujah and Amen.