What I Would Have Missed

I sat with my boys in the play place area of our local McDonalds, talking as we were eating, and I noticed that we were the only customers seated in that area who were actively engaged in conversation with one another.  

Sure, others were engaged in conversation-some via text, some speaking with someone on the phone, others casually perusing Facebook or other various forms of social media while their children played. Communicating for sure, but not with those who actually accompanied them. 

Around a year ago, we made a family rule  (I will even go as far as to call it a commitment) that when we dine together as a family (as in just the four of us) in public places that we will not entertain ourselves with electronics, but rather focus on growing as a family during this time. It wasn't a popular rule at first, by anyone's standards. But it's grown on us. We wanted to teach our boys the importance of such habits as waiting patiently on food and enjoying their surroundings in a manner where they could truly take it in. Unplugged.

We wanted to make the most of our special times out with just the four of us, where mommy wasn't responding to a text, Daddy wasn't reading ESPN updates, and little boys' food wasn't growing cold at the expense of a level of a game that begged to be completed. We wanted to teach them that sometimes you have to wait, be patient and entertain yourself in a world that teaches them that everything is immediate and at their finger tips. 

It may sound silly, but we want them to learn how to be B.O.R.E.D and live to tell about it, once they realize it won't be the death of them. 

There have been times, here and there, where our rule has been relaxed a time or two-in situations where we are traveling and need info or directions, or when we've got plans and need to return a text, but for the most part we've stuck to our guns on this one, allowing technology to be a part of dinners out only when more than the four of us attend and we would like to engage in adult conversation longer than little booties can handle being still. (which in our family isn't very long at all). 

Let me just interject here and say that I am by no means a mom who doesn't have a place for electronic entertainment. I certainly find it both helpful, educational, plenty acceptable and convenient at times. We limit their time spent plugged in, but also appreciate the modern day easements it provides to long car trips, the nice distraction it can provide to the anticipation of immunization shots, and our ability to do laundry. :)  (among other things) 

Back to McDonalds. This particular instance, it was just the three of us. The boys were playing and I was finished with my meal. My first thought was to grab my phone and see what was up in the world known as Facebook, and admittingly-I did. I chuckled at all the Church 213 members who had "checked in" this morning, hoping to grab the attention of those who may be seeking a church home. Not much else was going on though and I threw it back in my (new and oh so cute) aqua colored purse. For a brief moment, I turned my attention to the other moms, dads and grandparents in the room and noticed them all doing similar things as I had just been doing. 

As I watched, for the better part of 30-45 minutes, and took it all in, I never once saw a parent look up or interact with their children in any way, even when the children would run to the table for a drink.  To be fair, most of that time was spent watching my own children, so I could have missed something going on elsewhere. 

I'm all for a little mommy escape here and there, and I'm certainly not innocent myself of spending too much time wrapped up in the world available to me inside a smart phone, so I write without judgment or condemnation-for on another day, this could have been me. (though I always look at my children when they approach me, no matter what I'm doing on my phone)

There's nothing inherently wrong with taking a moment to entertain yourself while your children play. 

This particular instance, I was simply touched by what I would have missed if I had chosen to take another peek at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest or the likes.  I'm captivated by moments I spent looking at my children while they played instead of checking in with a friend of family member. 

In the time it would have taken me to send a text I would have missed...

*W2 making friends with a young boy who looks different than he does. 

*W1 joining in on the friendship and orchestrating a game of Star Wars with the other children in theplay area. 

* W2 peeking from the top to catch a glance of me around 6-7 times and smiling. (It hurts my heart to think of him looking and having never caught my glance).

*Returning the smile all 6-7 times because my eyes were on him each time he looked.

*The incredible leadership skills that my 6 year old, once too shy to even enter a play place with kids he didn't know, now possesses in a crowd.

*The way W2 entertains and captivates people just like his Daddy does.

*The amount of times W1 stuck his thumb in his mouth, reminding me we were out of the thumb paint and a trip to the store was in order.

*The opportunity to smile at a little girl who was showing off her ability to climb and hang upside down, but received no other acknowledgement than mine

* The happiness that fills my soul when I visibly see my children playing as children should have the opportunity to do, using their imagination, treating others with fairness and respect, and shrieking in laughter (and let me tell you, W1 has the shrieking down to an art!) 

*The moments of excitement they wanted to share with me as they'd run to the table for a sip of drink-telling of all the fun they were having. 

*The acts of provision that big brother provided to little brother, acts I often feel are too few and far between-but maybe my eyes just aren't always attentive

to them. 

I like my down time, my outlet, my escape methods just as much as anyone. But today, if I had chosen that I would have missed so much. What's on social media, is there, etched into cyberspace, essentially forever. I can go and look anytime and see what I had "missed." Whatever a friend is doing or a family member has going on, can be told in another moment.  Those moments I shared above?  I would have missed them entirely. You can't get moments back. You can't get time back. You can't re-do a missed glance followed by a smile. They occur, and far too quickly they are gone. And often times, we miss them. Make the most of these moments-I know I'm encouraged to, more and more these days. 

There's a time and a place for social entertainment. If you know me, you know I enjoy it as much as the next person. But I am encouraged to enjoy the passing

moments first, more frequently and with 100% of my heart and mind involved, because I can never get those back. Time is a precious gift, from a God who loves us. Embrace it.