Splash the Puddles

Years ago, I walked the difficult road of losing a child.  I can remember feeling like I was on a never-ending rollercoaster ride of emotions. I was scared and I was sad. I felt peace and then I didn’t. I willed myself to accept our loss as part of God’s perfect plan, but I was angry. So angry. I can recall not having a clue what to do with all of those emotions, and so I cried. A lot. Weeks passed and the heaviness did not lift, though life around me carried on. Those closest to me, inevitably moved on with their lives as did we. Days would come and days would go. Some were good, others dawned with an over-powering awareness of my empty womb and an unfulfilled desire. Where was God in all of this, I wondered?  With every passing thought of that nature, I stuffed the emotions deeper. Guilt overtook my already fragile emotional state and I willed myself to just accept God’s plan. Oh, how I struggled to do so. I had zero understanding of the truth that God could handle all of t...

The other evening I was in the grocery store with my boys grabbing a few items I needed to complete a meal we were taking to another family.  I used the self check-out because we had few items.  I decided at the last minute to grab some "cash back" with my check-out, so I pressed the $20 option and completed my transaction.  I loaded my groceries from the bagging area into the cart, convinced the littlest one to stop spinning the balloon stand 'round and 'round, yanked my receipt from the machine, and headed out the door.  I was sitting in the turn lane at the red light of the intersection when it dawned on me that I hadn't grabbed my cash back. I whipped the car across the (thankfully empty) next two lanes, circled back around, knowing that my cash was probably gone.  A small part of me held onto hope that it would still be there, in that drop down slot, waiting for me.  I went back in and the registers were empty, as well as the cash slot that should have...

     Two years ago, our family visited Disney World for the first time as a family of four.  (Except the one day we spent there when Will was very newly growing in my tummy!) We realized at some point during the planning that this would be our very first trip we had taken as a family of four that didn't include other family members or friends.  Mixed emotions of excitement and an expectancy of complete and utter exhaustion filled us.  Disney tends to be 24/7 on the go, and we wouldn't have back up.    It turned out to be the trip of a lifetime for our family.  There was a noticeable absence of sibling arguments and harassment.  Standing in lines, something that would normally spark complaining and whining, was about as enjoyable as could be.  (It helped that strategic planning on the front end ensured that no wait was longer than 15 minutes for us...)  We laughed.  We learned new things about each other.  We ate a l...

The weather has been a tad bit dreary where we live lately.  It's temperamental at best.  This evening as I was riding down the road, I noticed how dark the clouds and sky were for the time of day it was.  As I watched, suddenly the grey skies parted for just a moment and the most beautiful light shone through, casting sunbeams across the clouds.  I smiled as the Lord whispered, "This is how it is with me sometimes. Life may seem grey, the rain keeps falling and the clouds linger, but when those times come, if you wait and if you watch, you will see that I am still there.  The Son, behind it all, shining through with my Light that casts itself across your clouds."  With that, the clouds in the sky came together, leaving only a hint of the brightness that had so clearly shone just moments before.  I smiled, knowing that tucked within this cloudy forecast and these grey skies, there was a great light, shining bright.  Though momentarily clouded by ...

Recently, my pastor spoke one simple sentence that has taken hold of my heart and hasn't loosened it's grip since. "We have [His promised] peace as Christ followers, but it is up to use how we cultivate this fruit..."  When we enter into relationship with Jesus, He freely gifts us with His peace, but how thoroughly that is manifested throughout our lives is in our hands. In other words, whether it lies dormant, or whether it brings the life that is intended, is determined by how dependent we are on it, how well we utilize the gift of peace He's given us. Peace in my circumstances, in the "bigger" areas of life seems to come fairly easy to me.  When we've faced difficult roads as a family, the loss of our first baby, and other various trials, I've basked in the comfort of God's peace throughout the hardship and healing.  I know that peace that passes all understanding... There's one area, however, where I've had a lifelong struggle...

In the parable of the Lost Son, Jesus teaches of a man with two sons.  He divided equally each one's share of his estate, withholding nothing from them.  Having been equipped with all he needed for a prosperous and victorious life, the youngest son soon set off on his own.  Venturing out in his own strength,  he managed to squander everything he had been given, wasting it all on wild living.  Once it was all gone, there was a famine in the land and he was in need.  By this time, desperation had set in, and he hired himself out to a citizen of the country to feed his pigs.  Scripture said "he longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything..."   He'd been given everything he needed, and abundantly, by his father who loved him.  Yet, he wasted it all.  Face to face with his shame and guilt, he had a choice. He could continue to perish in the suffocating circumstances that were a result of ...

Some mornings, Will wakes up as a baby dinosaur.  Sometimes a pterodactyl, but usually a baby T-Rex.  This morning, he had a hard time waking up and stepping into the shower.  So, I encouraged him with a little mommy T-Rex nudge.  I whispered to him, "Wake up, little T-Rex and hurry into the shower before the raptors attack us..."  (I was desperate to not be late to work again, y'all...) It worked. Wide eyed and well aware of my dinosaur ignorance he confidently replied, "But we are bigger and more powerful than they are, mommy T-Rex.  They can't hurt us..." By then he was awake and cold, so into the warm shower he hopped, not phased by the threat of a raptor attack. My boy knows his dinosaurs, and whether it is true or not that a raptor could not hurt a T-Rex is beyond me.  I honestly have no clue. I've seen a Jurassic movie or two.  I'm sure they could leave a scratch, maybe draw some blood, even temporarily weaken a T-Rex with cunning st...