I See You, Beautiful Mama

I heard you, beautiful mama around that outdoor dinner table, when you shared your struggles of balancing your career and your family. I recognized your feelings of guilt as you recollect your thoughts on leaving  the office at 5, getting home by 5:30 and immediately starting dinner with little ones at your side. You want so badly to have more hours in the evening to snuggle them close, to play on the floor, to do homework with them. But bedtime calls because tomorrow is a new day, and those angels have to be well rested to do it all again. I listened as you shared about sometimes adding fruit to accompany the PBJ your sweet, precious babies had for dinner  on the way to sports practice because you feel guilty it's PBJ night again. So soon. You fall into bed exhausted, with no time for yourself and sometimes feeling you had not enough time with them. You're stretched thin, balancing a career, serving your husband and growing your relationship, and nurturing those babies. My heart broke as you shared about the tears you shed waiting in the airport to travel for work. Though you'd be away less than 24 hours, your heart ached for your babies and your love. You hadn't even left, and you missed them already. Your observations as you waited to board the plane that took you away, reminded you of what you don't want for your family.  I prayed for you when I received the text about how much you missed them. You're doing the best you can, beautiful mama. And you do it radiantly. 

I don't even remember the time your husband had to essentially live in another state for work for weeks at a time, but it was hard on you. I could tell, as you retold the story. What an honorable man, doing the necessary to work his place into a position that would ensure his ability to care for you, his son and his brand new baby girl. It was hard. It was a sacrifice, but it was worth it. It was a sacrifice made out of love-driven determination to care for you. 

I feel all of those things with you, even though sometimes from opposite perspectives. Being a mom is our strongest passion, and the struggle is real. You said it best when you said "we all have our things..."

I respected you for your response when I asked how you held yourself together so well, running from place to place. Instead of allowing me to sit in my seat of humble admiration, thinking you must be blessed with some extra measure of "momness" that I don't have, you honestly said to me, "I pretend like I handle it well for everyone else sometimes... when really I'm freaking out..."  Those words are paraphrased, of course, but they are beauitful words.  Those are the heart felt words of a mom who recognizes the struggle is real, and that there's no merit in pretending to have it all together. 

There's power in saying, "me too" to another mom. And that's what you did for me. So, thank you. It meant more to me than you'll ever know. 

Let me tell you what I see when I look at you. I see a beautiful mama who selflessly loves and cares for her family. I see someone who rises early, before the sun, and prepares for the day. When I hear you discipline your children, I hear tender love in your words.  When your littles call your name, and run to you, your smile lights up the room. You're genuinely excited to see them every second, even if you just saw them five minutes ago. Even if they're driving you crazy. Your unconditional love always overrides your frustrations and emotions. I see it. They see it. Most importantly God sees it. Your example is encouraging to me in that area.  When I look at you, I also see a beautiful mama who loves her children enough to give them the gift of a strong marriage to their daddy. A mama who is intentional about spending nights away from her children, just growing in her relationship with their Daddy. You recognize that's one of the very best gifts you can give them. A strong marriage and happy home. Love grows where you nurture it. God sees you, beautiful mama. You make him smile.

 

I overheard you, another beautiful mama, this morning in a conversation with someone else. You're going back to school, and life will change for you and your precious baby girls. There will be sacrifice to move your family to a more secure place. Mom will be busier for a while and yet, the ordinary day to day responsibilities must carry on. You will still have to work, be a wife and be mommy. You've explained to the girls that the benefits this will bring your family, are worth the immediate sacrifice. They will be. Though you didn't say it, I could hear the worry in your voice. "Will they understand," you wonder? "Will they remain secure in your love for them?"  They will. How could they not? Your heart and the way you love your girls and other people shines through daily. I don't even know if you realize what a loving and caring person you are, always giving of yourself. But I see it. We all do. Not many folks drop a box of a delicious pasta salad in their friend's mailbox on a rainy day because they heard them say how much they enjoyed it at the covered dish dinner. You do those types of things effortlessly. That's love. You see the good in everyone.  You love with everything you are. Your babies see that. I see that. Most importantly, God sees that. 

These roads we travel as mothers, they are all so different. Each road has its own speed bumps, traffic jams and rough terrain. But really, they are all the same. We are all in this together, doing the very best we can to love our husbands, care for our children, follow the Lord's path for our lives, and be reputable career women. It's not easy. Ever. And that's ok. We have each other. We're all in this together, different stories, different struggles, but the same ultimate desire. 

So, beautiful mama, I say to you, "Me too." I'm right there with you. 

It's easy to compare our lives to each other, to grow in pride or shrivel in humility in those comparisons. I think sometimes we get so caught up in who we are not, that we miss all the things we are. But that's destructive to our own selves and our relationships. We are all on the same journey, taking different routes, walking the path God has laid before us. I'm proud of you! I learn from you! 

You struggle sometimes, but guess what? Me too. :) 

"She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work, vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night...She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she shows no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her;  Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."